Model and Suicide Squad actress Cara Delevingne opened up to Elle UK about her journey to sobriety, saying quitting drinking has made her “stable” and “calmer.”

It has been “worth every second,” she expresses, admitting her nine months sober hasn’t been easy. “It hasn’t, but there have never been moments when I’m like, ‘This isn’t worth it.'”

The 30-year-old explains she checked into rehab after seeing paparazzi photos of herself at the Burning Man festival back in September of last year. The coverage noted her “disheveled” appearance, which led sources to tell outlets like the Daily Mail that her friends were “concerned” for her. 

To Elle UK, Cara calls the coverage a “reality check” that led her to choose sobriety after she was able through rehab “To disappear and come back for air.”

Cara admits, “For a long time, I felt like I was hiding a lot from people who looked up to me. I finally feel as though I can be free and myself, fully,” which included going public about her struggles with substances and with her own mental health — struggles shared by her mother, Pandora.

Despite her successes in modeling, acting and social media, Delevigne continues, “It didn’t feel real. I didn’t feel like I deserved it…I was still stuck in this mindset of not being good enough.”

The 30-year-old adds, “I was doing the best I could…Inside, I felt very different to how I looked.”

The help of Alcoholics Anonymous, a sober sponsor and “instrumental” friends who “have been down this path before” — as well as her relationship with her girlfriend, musician Leah Mason — “have made me so happy and comfortable with who I am,” Cara says.

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