(NOTE LANGUAGE) Kal Penn, reveals in his new book, You Can’t Be Serious, that he has been in a relationship with his partner Josh for 11 years, and the the couple is engaged.

“I’ve always been very public with everybody I’ve personally interacted with. Whether it’s somebody that I meet at a bar, if Josh and I are out or we’re talking to friends,” the Designated Survivor actor tells People.

When it came to the book, however, Penn 44, wanted to be transparent, while also being respectful to his family.

“I’m really excited to share our relationship with readers, he notes, but Josh, my partner, my parents and my brother, four people who I’m closest to in the family, are fairly quiet. They don’t love attention and shy away from the limelight.”

Adds Penn, semi-jokingly, “When you’ve already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy.”

Kal says discovering his own sexuality “came relatively late in life compared to many other people,” explaining, “There’s no timeline on this stuff. People figure their s*** out at different times in their lives, so I’m glad I did when I did.”

Penn’s book, You Can’t Be Serious, comes out on Tuesday.