After announcing during his Tuesday TV show that his five-month-old son, Zen, died Sunday from brain cancer, Nick Cannon explained on his show Wednesday why he decided to return so quickly after Zen’s passing.

“A lot of people keep asking me like, ‘Man why are you even at work?’ Especially my family members, ‘Boy, you need to go sit down somewhere, you got too many jobs already. Allow yourself to just be yourself,’ ” Cannon said.

“I appreciate that, all of that advice and I know it comes from a place of care. But to me, this isn’t work, this is love.”

As Nick thanked everyone for their support, Zen’s mother, Alyssa Scott, posted an emotional Instagram video montage tribute.

Paired with Jhené Aiko‘s song “Promises,” Scott wrote, “Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here. I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.”

“We were a team,” Alyssa continued. “It feels unbearable running without you now.”

The video showed Zen playing with a toy piano, taking a bath, and Scott rocking her baby in her arms as he looked up at her.

“It has been an honor and privilege being your mommy,” Scott ended her tribute. “I will love you for eternity.” 

When Cannon revealed on his TV talk show that Zen had died, he praised Scott, telling his listeners: “Alyssa was just the strongest woman I’ve ever seen.”