The songs we’ve heard from Kelly Clarkson‘s upcoming album, Chemistry, seem to be pretty on the nose when it comes to her feelings about her ex-husband, Brandon Blackstock. But Kelly says fans have no idea how far she went in the songs she didn’t put on the album.

Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, Kelly says the songs on Chemistry are “definitely very honest,” but she admits some were just “too truth-telling” to be heard by anyone, so she left them off the album. 

“I know people will hear this record and be like, ‘Oh, damn, she went there!'” Kelly laughs. “And I’m like, ‘No, I promise you I didn’t!'”

The songs that are on there, she says, make her so emotional that she’s not sure she’ll be able to sing them in her upcoming Las Vegas residency without breaking down. 

“That’s just going to take time — which is annoying. I don’t like that,” she says. “I will sing ‘Because of You’ and still remember why I wrote it at 16. It’s hard for me not to tap back in because I feel like it’s my job to emote what the lyrics are.” 

She explains, “It just takes time to … not really separate, but to get to where you can remember it but you don’t drown in it.” 

But Kelly is sure that listeners will be able to relate Chemistry to their own lives.

“It is kind of nice to have these people that went through stuff that other people are going through, and you just don’t feel alone in it,” she notes. “Because I’ll tell you what, that’s the worst: when you’re in a crowded room or you’re smiling for America while doing your job and you just feel so sad and alone. That’s the worst feeling ever.”

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