Taylor Swift’s “Clean” echo’s through my apartment as I write this.

Julie Baker.

The joy and complete freedom that washed over me when I heard the new opens for my morning show with *my* name is something I can’t quite express.

Let me rewind before I jump forward.

Baker is my last name. It’s my parent’s last name. The one on my birth certificate.  There’s something special to me about it too- it represents home. A farm with an early morning sunrise. A summer in a tractor spinning countless circles in a hay field. It represents hard work and a level of stubbornness.

I took the last name ‘Wilson’ when I wed at 22- an age now, I know for me, was far too young. I didn’t know me.

I divorced last year. It was then I requested the court give me back my own name- and I took it, personally, with joy.

Professionally, however, I lived in the land of fear. At 22 you aren’t established professionally- at least I wasn’t. It was the last name Wilson I would spend a decade forming a resume under. The name people knew me as. I wanted to change it publicly right away- but again, the land of fear. I’d lose my resume of work. I’d lose brand recognition.  I convinced myself I could be “Wilson” on air- carrying a name that left my stomach in a drop every time I introduced myself.

Women keep their married name for so many reason- I did for work, until now. Perhaps they want to keep the same name of their kids. I support whatever decision a women makes for herself- and her name- after a divorce.

When everything fully set in- and I completely understood what I dealt with and went through, I felt manic. I called my best friend in New York. He and his husband were proud. I told him my thoughts on it all- he confessed in little ways he hoped eventually I’d find my way back to Baker.

I sent my college roommate a text- she, too, had hoped I would change it professionally, noting she never changed my name from the original in her phone.

As I talked to more and more people who I hold the most close- I found everyone in a pride. Nothing but complete support. I was certain through the confession of thought, someone- anyone- would pipe up and offer opposition. To my complete surprise not a single person did.

The last year and a half have been the most beautiful- though, I’ve discovered, beauty often is forged through the most heat intensive flames.

I find myself in complete gratitude for the marriage that failed. I could not have faced the demons I held within myself without it. I could not have become the person I am now, nor the person I continue to grow into without it. I would not have the wisdom I have.

With this reversion to Baker, I feel the final waves of turmoil settling.

If you’re a long time listener of my show or you’ve spent time scrolling my social media accounts- thank you. Truly, thank you.